Click on the titles below to view the contributions from young people
The Little Mermaid - By a Mermaids member. Age 7
Cruelty - By a Mermaids member. Age 7
I bring my favourite stuff to school But other kids can be so cruel They laugh and point and say "Oooh" And I just don't know what to do. I bring Barbie to school But they lie and when I go they don't say "Bye".
Sea Views - By DJ Kingsbury
I stare out into the sea Wishing I'll be able to shine as me. Though the outcome of who I am Mixed with the nature Of the cruelty of this world, I just don't want to exist any more. So I stare out into the sea Wishing to reel in a part of me. Only to fall out of it again.
When being yourself has a price - By Sophie Age 15
Who am I? I'm not who you see. I'm different inside, real inside. There lies the real me. It's the outside that's wrong. Something so basic, so simple, And it's wrong.
As a child, I acted as my real self. But then the bullying started. That's when I told myself I was wrong. I am a girl on the outside, But not on the inside. I had to lie. I have to lie.
The prices make me wonder, Will I always be a pathetic figment? Will I ever be allowed to be me? There's the issue of losing money, Losing friends, Losing family, And it's not even my fault.
Sometimes I wonder why. Why was I born a lie?
WHEN IS IT MY TURN ? - By Ariel-Michelle
As I sit in a room of peace, I feel strangely out of place. As I watch the people talk, I wonder what expression is on their face. Are they really content? Are they sad? Are their lives good? Do they feel sad? If you read between the lines they say you can see whats being said beneath. If you could see between my lines would you see the longing for some of that peace? Do you see your soul trapped for the whole of your life? Do you feel bad because it always upsets your wife? Peace is a rare thing in this world, enjoy it while you can. For when you feel trapped, it feels like no one would give a damn. Wars rage across the globe, mabe soon, the wars and pain will be gone. Sometimes the battle to free the soul is lost but the war still rages on To be myself whatever I may be is a small request I need to ask. Why does it seem to me, to be an impossible task? I feel like an actress, playing the part of a man. I want to be the girl inside that I know I am. Living a lie for my whole life is a pain that sears and burns. So I ask you this: When is it my turn?
Transition - By Tobi
I was lost inside and indistinct Kept caged and locked for security From words and mouths and what people think And even my own insanity
I am on the verge and inbetween On the brink of pleasant fantasies I am opened out ready to be seen Holding the key to my sanities
I am cleansed, sure, soft, and free I am a gentle, kind, memory Of what I am,will, and used to be And finally I am me
A personal story - Kye
Hi, I'm Kye and I'm a female to male transgender. I'm currently awaiting testosterone treatment, which will start towards the end of June. The testosterone treatment will allow me to go through male puberty, and begin the journey to become who I was meant to be. I will gain things such as facial hair, voice drop, and my body will slowly become more masculine over time. But the thing I am most looking forward to, is finally being able to be happy and feeling right, and feel like everyone else. To just be able to step out of my front door and not worry about who is trying to work me out, to be able to talk to people without worrying if my voice is too high, or how I word what I say. To be able to get rid of the dysphoria that shadows me every day, forcing me to pick out everything feminine about myself and maximise it, I will finally be able to look in the mirror and see myself for the first time.
I have always felt this way, although when I was younger I perhaps didn't understand what transgender is, I didn't even understand I was truly biologically female. All I knew was that one day God would change me if I was good. I used to pray every night before I went to sleep, that I would wake up and I would be a boy, then, I would wake up and before I could barely open my eyes I would rip off the covers in anxiety and find that no, God had not changed me. I would cry when I was alone, I would be aggressive with everyone around me because I didn't understand 'why God would do this to me'. At school, I would always hang around with the boys, I would always do boy things and I was just referred to as a 'tomboy'. I truly despised that title, because it still insisted I was female when I believed so truly I was not. I had crushes on girls, I never had crushes on boys, I've never been a 'lesbian', I have always viewed myself as a straight male. Even people in my class in primary school would ask, 'do you want to be a boy?' I'd out rightly say 'No, I am a boy'.
Primary school was easier; I was accepted no questions asked. It was secondary school that truly ruined the confidence and happiness inside of me. I was bullied constantly, even by teachers who I would plead to for help, they would just ignore everything I'd say and reply with 'you chose to do all of this; you must suffer the consequences'. I think, in my opinion, anyone in their right mind would not choose a life of discrimination and pain, but they insisted this was so. When I would enter changing rooms for P.E, girls would scream and hide their bodies, and shout at me to get out; I would hear them whisper about me as I got changed and they would outright ask me in front of all the other girls 'why haven't you shaved your legs?', the embarrassment was unbearable, I distinctly remember feeling every girls eyes on me in disgust. I was physically bullied a lot of times, which not a lot of people know, one time that stands out to me was when I went into the girls toilet during class and three girls were in there, they told me to get out and I ignored them, so they grabbed me by the neck and started to shout at me and hit me. I was kicked in the face and stomach and before they left, one spat on my face. There were constant situations like this every day I went into school, and I went into extreme depression and became more and more in denial with myself.
Finally one summer, I woke up one day and decided to tell my mother how I felt, that I needed to do something about it. She was sat in her room on her computer, so I sat next to her and said to her I needed to talk to her. I told her I wanted to be a boy, and it was as simple as that. She held me and told me she knew and it was okay, and that she would do anything to help. She told me a story about when I was 3 years old, that I asked her one day 'mummy, when is my willy going to grow?', she said from then she knew it was going to be the case and she was awaiting the day I approached her. So, we set up counselling and I started going by the name Kye, my sister also called me Kye and referred to me as her brother as often as she could, as we were still in school with each other and we knew mutual people who did not know I was transitioning. Every time I was called Kye, and he, I would get a warm happy feeling inside my stomach, I knew it felt right and I knew it was how it should be.
Now, I'm at college as Kye, and as male, my friends don't know and don't have a clue. I'm in a relationship as Kye, and as male, my girlfriend knows and is 100% supportive and is so excited about my journey. My family are supportive, a lot of friends know and are supportive, and most of all I am confident about being transgender, I am happy about being transgender, and the time I have been waiting for all my life is here.
Some people ask me, if you could have had the choice to have been born male, or to still have been born transgender, what would you choose? Well, it's not every day someone can say they have been both genders, they have lived both sides of the spectrum, I have gone through female puberty and I have gone through what a lot of females have which gives me such a greater understanding of them, I understand things most boys won't. But I am male, I talk like a boy, I think like a boy, I will have a male body; I have lived in society as a female, and as a male. So my answer is, as much as my journey is painful and as hard as it is, it is worth it. I believe people are uneducated and have a very distorted view on transgenders, and I am willing to be part of the process to bring people to greater understanding, and to realise we're no different. I'm just on a journey to find myself, aren't we all?
You cannot change my identity - Asher
Call me a 'woman',
Call me a 'she'; What you say can not change my Identity. Call me a 'tranny' 'he-she' or 'freak'; Try to break me down piece by piece. Why am I your problem? I'm just little old me! And the only thing in a bathroom that I want to do is pee! Don't make me be with the women and girls - It feels so humiliating and makes me feel scared. But can I really go into the mens? When Trans men have been raped, Attacked and nearly done in? Can I really feel safe walking down the street? Looking over my shoulder for any transphobes I should meet. I'll just stay at home and cry in my room, As I hope that one day, and one day soon: You will see how you're wrong, And how hate is bad. You'll see the truth about this trans man. Because I am not a 'woman', I am not a 'She' And what you say can not change my identity.
The life of a trans person is rarely filled with glee,
Theres blockades and haters trying to stop me from being me! I hate my body, it feels so wrong, Born with a uterus and breasts that don't belong. So I'll sit and I'll cry as I bleed and I hurt, And I can tell you its not my time of the month. I hate my body so much - So why remind me? I'm doing my best to put all this behind me! But you'll grab and you'll grasp at your small minded ways, Try to tell me I'm a woman, Not a real man - No way! But I'll fight you and others who seem to think the same, And I will pick myself up again and again. You can call me a 'woman', you can call me a 'she'; But what you say can not change my identity.
So please keep your mouth shut - and just let me be!
I don't have time to ask 'where can I pee?' I have dreams and ambitions, goals to achieve. I want to be able to pursue my dreams! Yet here you stand, Blocking my way. Saying go back and change; Be what I say! But I will defy you and stand as tall as I can, For every trans woman and every trans man: Who was hurt or abused, or turned away at the door, For every trans person who's heard 'You aren't my child anymore!' For they are my sisters, brothers and friends. And maybe together we can bring this nightmare to and end.
So call me a 'woman',
And call me a 'she' Because what you say can not change my identity.
I Am - By Jessica
How dare you try to define me? I am more than a sum total of your categories. You say I'm gay, or a freak. You can't know that. What's more, it is none of your business. Do not worry over what I am. Know that I am. I am a human being, just like anyone else. I am not in some kind of 'alternative lifestyle'. I am not a freak. I am just myself.
Mirrors - By Aoife Age 16
Each time I look into a mirror,
I see a face look back at me. Sometimes it's the face of a girl, And sometimes it's a boy. Each face shows its sadness, Each one shows its pain. Both of them have their sorrow, But one has room for Joy. I know some day that I must choose a face, And live with it forever more. But which one can joy live in? Which one can I scorn?.
A New Dawn - By Emily
Suns burn out my eyes Moons soothe my aching heart- Reaching towards my soul Drowning in this preconcieved mask Change will this withering mirage. This body is what I seek to transcend Numb to the rules that segregate and obliterate my blossoming heart! I can only ever be me which makes me pure No law or ignorance can tie me down I-rising from the ashes through the only eyes I can ever see from...
To greet A new, and wonderful day.
Life and Death - By Emily
It is not the moment of death But what you do with life you were given- Not a slave to this body Or the ornaments that I adore A whore to my emotions It is not a boy or man I wish to destroy or kill Just to let this women Spread her wings .........and breathe!
Day by Day - by Bree Age 17
I dread the next day I have come to dread everyday for each one I live the life of another not mine I can never live the life that first meant for me this life I now live is a prison unfamiliar my soul is now trapped in bones it never knew and foreign flesh the torture never dies and my hopeless cries cover my smile now and forever
You think - by Karl Aged 19
ou think that you're stupid Someone will think that you're smart You think that you're pathetic Someone will think that you're great You think that you're worthless Someone will think that you're worth everything You think that you are ugly Someone will think that you're beautiful You think everyone hates you Someone out there loves you You think that everyone out there is an enemy Someone out there wants to be your friend We are all human, we all bleed red Don't ever think you're better off dead
To a Girl - By Riff Age 19
Staring through a window Gazing at your face Comparing all its contours with my own Wondering if you're happy If you've ever felt Confused, rejected, cast away, alone Looking deep into your eyes Searching for the soul And wondering what things you hide away If those eyes have ever drowned In waves of warm despair Or opened on a smoky, blacked-out day These eyes that burn with passion Or freeze in ice-rimmed pain Which the world, in you, will never stir Watch you from a distance Close, yet far away And hating you because you never were.
I'm a Girl, He's a Guy - by Elly
I'm a girl, he's a guy What can't you 'get' or be dealing with? Don't stare at him or me like you can feel our frustration Don't start asking how and wondering why
You're pointing to the sky firing a search to the critics to where I am When I'm not yet the doctor's patient It's hard to hide
I swerve and sway, extending my presence about the places I see around If I may I'm not such a bad person if you bother to tell But know one believes me when I spell out my name Just a figment of my own personal pain
Just a lie you spell out clear Just a phase you'll pass my dear I couldn't help to slouch around, staring at the plaster on the ceiling That has me bound. I've never liked drag and I f*cking hate Madonna So back of with your cliché's of what I can offer I couldn't help but wonder why You can't accept the colour on my nails
He's a guy, can't you tell? It's not a figment of his own special brand of hell It's his turmoil you inflame, the spite and hate you throw his way, a heavy object to his complexion. Just a knife to help him with keeping his attention. It's his screaming inside his head that burns the picture in his mind, and on the reflection of the mirror beside his lovely pink bed. I'd like to push you off a cliff, and tell you the reasons before you land.
I just couldn't feel, not a little p*ssed When I heard you make him cry He moves aside and has a moment to feel The bloody shocked eyes, and the gripping of his hair.
Don't you understand it's his life that he needs, not a cage that he lives in not the suffering you like to bury him further in.
You make me sick and terribly tired, when will you just roll of rooftops and die? When I realise it's just another person trying to live out his life. Can't you fill up on parecetamol and pay the paramedics an adrenaline good time? But you feel the need to dissect his intent And make him scared and make him shake All inside I feel a sigh
Where a flame makes a sigh? Well.. Blows out and loses a will to burn up the hate filled eyes that you ejaculate on our weary broken prison sells
I'd like to make you the fucking mess you see when pitying me, so your eyes gather at my clothes Wondering if these are my real breasts
I'm a girl, and he's a guy Let me get it clear for you so you don't have to- Kick us in the Auschwitz in your category mind So you don't have to feel obliged, to apologize and bore us with all the similarities in your life. Let it go and don't bother me about my penis or the impotence between us Or do us a favour and lie down and die
I am a girl with a penis and testicals, haven't you realised the feelings why? Can't you 'get' that all this clutter you heave on our facades, can't be the fret that fate bestows, but it still cuts and bleeds and motivates me to write this prose It still wounds the needy It still steals from the look that's left wanting
You just couldn't sit down and listen, could you? You just couldn't be the mother and father you are. You can't let me be happy at 13; you had to force me to change outside and let me fall to pierces within my glass and crystal sharp edged male exterior. What's contained in here? Lots and lots of pain and a hint of envy. For the faces we see.. Who we would risk our life to be, to be
That's how we feel inside. So I'm a girl and he's a guy. Please remember. And don't. Don't. Ask why
Personal Account - By a Former Mermaids Member Now in their 20's
How's about starting a normal life?
But won't starting in the middle always be difficult? But I suppose I never thought life would be so, well - tricky! What happens when the only thought that occupies your mind is "I WANT TO BE NORMAL!" and suddenly you realise that's the only thing you'll NEVER be. Of course you have friends offering to help.
But when they will never truly understand, what's the point? As soon as you get close to normality somebody moves the barriers. Sometimes I try to convince myself that I am normal, it's just the ones who don't understand or don't try to, who aren't normal.
Somehow, I never can truly convince myself enough. But when I ask for help what happens? Nothing.
Exactly. Perhaps I'm being selfish, stubborn, paranoid, or one of the thousand other things I've been called. Why does it all have to be so f****** hard?